Pollution is aserious problem, that threat our life on the Earth. We can find alot kinds of pollution that effects our life badly like: air, water, hearing, soil,......etc. The change of the natural component of air, water, and other things in our life leads to cause this pollution. The more the proportion of the air pollution arise, the more the diseases spread in
Air pollution is coming from our interactive with environment. As we know when we make development to make life easier ,we make new inventions ,and as we make new experiment that causes explosion in the air. All of this things cause change in the component of the air that around us in our life and environment. The new invention we use also like cars , planes and other vehicles release toxic gases that threaten our life on the earth ,for example Carbon Dioxide that is very dangerous to breathe it and it cause death. And there are other gases with the association with component of air cause arise the temprature of the earth. But in the case of air condition and refrigetor, it release Mathane that effeects on Earth's Ozone layer. This things we can't find any thing to compensate us from using it ,and we can't stop using it. Also we find the manufactured industries that release smoke and other gases and contribute in causing air pollution. All of this kinds is from our interaction ,and there are natural causes of air pollution. The natural causes that without human entering like volcanic activity ,which produce flames ,and ash particulates that scatter on the earth. dust from natural sources ,and natural radioactivity are also causes of this air pollution. All of this causes lead to dangerous diseases and global warmming. The arise of producing of these gases on the earth leads to depletion of ozone layer that cause to increase the heating on the earth. Also alot of heart diseases and lung cancer is from this pollution, and childern are most suffering from this pollution.
As we know the great danger that pollution make to us ,we should find solution to decrease from its danger. The government should has an effictive role to help in decrease this pollution by putting alot of rules that helps in decrease this pollution ,and put harm punish to whom be dissident. we should also try to find some gases to use instead of mathane. In addition to that ,we should build industries zone out of cities ,and decrease traffic jam by constructing anew roads. The government should put apunishment for industries that don't use filters in its funnel.
At the end ,we notice the danger of this problem and we should cooperate together to face this problem. And no thing will be useful for us without arise of our awareness. As this problem threaten our life on the earth and other kinds of creatures. Also we should think that our God give us nature to use it in the correct way ,not to harm its creatures and change its component. We should keep our health because it amarvelous bless ,that nothing can compensate us for it.
Thanks Saraa for writing the second draft and sending it. But I want you to use your own words because many words in your essay are difficult to be understood. Also, I dont wont you to copy whole paragraphs from the internet. You can read about the topic in the internet, then use your own information, content and write your essay
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ReplyDeleteI liked the pictures you used with your essay.
Your essay is good but It needs some modifications such as:
I write my second draft without copy the paragraph from the internet,it's my idea and Iuse my own words with the help of dictionary not the internet
ReplyDeletenice draft ya sasoo...the sentences are clear,some sentences are long, try to divide them,your words are spelled correctly
ReplyDeletepeace be upon you sara, i really liked your essay as it's well-organized, has a clear purpose and your inroduction is comprehensive but there are some spelling mistakes you may didn't observe them like(threat should be threatens),(compensate for not from),(contribute to not in),(this things instead of these ),as awhole it's a very good work, i'm sure you'll pay attention to these mistakes the next time, as all of us make mistakes and don't forget (TO err is to learn), i wish that this criticism is nearly fair.
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